One of the reasons the best leaders are highly self-aware is that they ask for feedback from others. In fact, the best leaders ask for feedback not only about what they’re doing well, but about what they’re not doing well. They want to know the negative as well as the positive. But that also explains why being able to manage your emotions is so important.
Who in their right mind is going to give negative feedback knowing that you’re going to get angry? But if people know you genuinely want the feedback, that you’ll thank them for it, and that you’ll do something with the feedback they give you, then you’ll benefit, and so will they. The more specific you can be with your request, the more likely that others will have something to share with you.
When people are learning, others tend to be very forgiving. So tell your constituents what you’re trying to do and that you want their honest feedback. Afterward, ask, “How’d I do?” Have a conversation. Then say thanks.